WTFAWII?

This is the golden age of journalism, with so many reporters and pundits working 'round the clock to answer the important questions of the day:

• Why won't John Kerry apologize for the joke about our troops, which everyone knows wasn't about our troops, and for which he has already apologized?
• How did Michael J. Fox trick Missouri voters into caring about curing diseases — did he take too much medication or not enough?
• Not that anyone's asking, but where is the proof that our first Muslim Congressman isn't working for the enemy?
  
• Will Nancy Pelosi's botox-laden cooties destroy America?

There's one question that is too inconsequential to garner this kind of attention: "Why the fuck are we in Iraq?"

Poor, old Helen Thomas. On March 21st of this year, she had nothing better to ask.

... Mr. President, your decision to invade Iraq has caused the deaths of thousands of Americans and Iraqis, wounds of Americans and Iraqis for a lifetime. Every reason given, publicly at least, has turned out not to be true. My question is, why did you really want to go to war? From the moment you stepped into the White House, from your Cabinet — your Cabinet officers, intelligence people, and so forth — what was your real reason? You have said it wasn't oil — quest for oil, it hasn't been Israel, or anything else. What was it?

Bush dodged and fumbled to (not) answer, and as far as I know, no one before or since has demanded to know.

I have the kind of OCD that makes me fixate about such minutiae. It's dumb, I know. I mean, who really needs to know why we've killed thousands of people, brought the Middle East to the brink of a meltdown, and renamed the french fry?

If you suffer from the same idle curiosity, you can buy a shirt or bumper sticker that asks this question (100% of profits go to charities for American veterans). Maybe you'll meet someone who can answer it — if you do, please let me know. I'm a trivia buff.